New beginnings

You want to be happier? Change something. You can't just become happy overnight, you have to work hard at it to make something better. I have decided that in order for my family and I to be happy we need to change our lives. I have encouraged Jeff, my husband, to look for a job in a different state. Currently we are looking at possibly moving to Nevada or Washington D.C. I just want to start over. Begin a new life as a family and get away from all of the gossip and crap that we deal with on a daily basis in NY. Maybe moving won't get rid of it but at least we know that we are trying to make things better for us.

After the email my family and I received I decided that a move would help alleviate some of the issues some people seem to be having lately. Mostly one person but I am not going to name names as I am still very upset about what was said. We are not running away, just removing ourselves from the situation. I love my family and will miss them dearly if we move but I have always been taught that you should do something for yourself and not others.

Well this is it for me. I have been pushed to my limit and I am more then ready to make a change to see if my new beginning will make me and my family happier. Eric, Jeff and I are going to work on getting out of NY as soon as we can. It may be months but you never know.

Have you ever wanted a new beginning? Ever done it and found that it was worse then your situation now? Or found that starting new has made the biggest and greatest change?

Upset

So yes, I am going to post another angry / very upset blog today. I was not planning on it but a email arrived in my inbox just a bit ago and has pushed me to the point where I can not work. I need to get this out so that I feel a little better. So here goes nothing.

I have been told that I am a great parent but do not know how to get my child to listen to me. This person says that if they could give me advice about how to raise my son that he would listen and everything would be hunky dory. Well I have some things to say about this.

I have NEVER been told that my son was rude, out of control or anything else for that matter. We take him every place with us and he is a great little boy. I know there are people out there that would agree with me. I work very hard with my son to make sure that he is polite and listens to people. He is even taking Karate, don't you think he has to listen to do that? My son is my life and I am very hurt that someone would even think that my son does not listen to me and that makes me a bad parent. My husband and I work very hard and Eric does listen to us. I will admit that he does not listen all the time but let me ask you this, do you know ANY child that listens to their parents 100% of the time? I sure as heck don't! And I don't appreciate someone who sees us once a week to tell me that he doesn't listen to us and that we need to get advice about how to raise him. HE IS MY FREAKING KID!!!!!!

I have so much more to say but just can't put it into polite words so I will not say it.

Getting Screwed!!!

Ok, so I didn't plan on bitching at all in my blog but I have changed my mind this afternoon.

So everyone has probably heard about Harris RF Communications that is based out of Rochester, NY. Well I work there. I am going on 3 years as an employee and just can not believe the crap you have to put up with here.

Well, a couple months ago Harris sent out a email to all of its employees announcing profit sharing. In their announcement they were saying that all employees should get a 3% bonus from this profit sharing. Now you can collect it 2 ways. The first way is to put it directly into your 401K. This way assures you 100% of this "bonus." The second way is to get cash. The fantastic thing about cash is that the government automatically takes 42% of your "bonus" and then you get the rest. Well guess what boys and girls?? That 58% that you get will not get you very far!!! You have to make a lot of money to even make the bonus worth it. $50,000 salary will get you $1,000 bonus to put into your 401K. Oh and if you want $1000 in cash after the government takes their share, you have to make a salary of around $90,000!!!!

It's amazing that a billion dollar company can not afford to give their employees a better bonus. Hell they can barely give you a worth while gift at the year end meeting you have to go to. Have you seen the amount of money Harris has made this year?? This was the subject line of a email I received about an hour ago today...."Harris Corporation Fourth Quarter Revenue Grows 19%;Net Income Increases 39%; Non-GAAP Net Income Increases 30% "

Oh so now they are making all this money but what do they give their employees as a benefit for being a part of this increase?? A 2% PROFIT SHARING BONUS!!!! Oh yeah and a barbecue apron....COME ON!! Are you kidding me??

Yes, I am glad to get something but come on now guys and gals. Don't you think they could give us something more?? Maybe a day off with pay and the bonus on a Visa card. Or something. We get no thanks while we work our butts off. Irritated is what I am right now. I am sorry that I feel this way but with the amount of money this company makes they could at least treat their employees better.

Living with Bipolar

First to answer the most common question:
What is Bipolar?? Well everyone has feelings of happiness and sadness once in a while. Feeling high and feeling low are part of life. But for someone with bipolar disorder (also known as manic depression), these feelings can be extreme:The ups and downs can sometimes be too much for one to cope with, they can interfere with every day life and sometimes they can be dangerous. Bipolar disorder is a lifelong condition. It can be hard for health care providers to diagnose. To help with the diagnoses you need to know about your condition and help your health care provider know what you are feeling or going through. (see http://www.bipolar.com/ for some more information).

So now that you know a little about bipolar I will tell you about my life. I have been diagnosed bipolar and have been living with it for many years. When they first wanted to start my treatment I was still in high school and refused to take the medications they wanted to give me. I would read the side effects and get scared about taking it and having the effects happen to me. It took me a long time to come to the realization that I could not cope with my disease any longer without getting help from someone. My doctor started me on prescriptions and we have not yet found the perfect one.

I go from being really happy and excited to very upset and crying. Anything can trigger my moods and that makes it really hard on my family. I wake up some mornings and just do not want to face what is out there. Crawling back under my covers and sleeping the whole day is something I find that I want to do often. However, there is a life out there that I know I must face. I force myself out of bed just so that I can see my little guy and my husband. Sometimes just knowing that they are there supporting me through this makes me feel that much better. It is still a very long hard journey for me to cope with but I am learning how to manage. Some days are a lot better then others, ask my family, they will tell you.

Getting people to understand what I am going through seems to be the biggest problem I have been facing lately. I get myself so upset that I get sick. It's hard to understand what is going on with someone when you have never been there. All the pamphlets and websites help but you know that they really don't get the full picture. You have to go through it to understand completely or at least live with someone who is going through it.

Recently my doctor changed my prescription and I am on new medications. Currently I am taking Seroquel. Seroquel is used to treat bipolar and also Schizophrenia. I have been on it for just over a week and have already noticed a change in my moods and my reactions to situations I am put in. When first starting Seroquel I did notice that I was very tired, dizzy and had anxiety attacks. At one point I was completely out of it and my husband could not wake me. Now that I have past the beginning stages of my medication I seem to be doing better. Even my family has noticed a difference.

There really is no right or wrong when dealing with bipolar. You will do things that help make your condition better and some things will make them worse. It is really a trial and error situation that you need to do to assist in making it easier on yourself. Everyone is different and has to be treated in a certain way. In my case, medication seems to be helping along with the wonderful support I get from my family and some friends.

Karate

So I thought that I would write a little bit about my little guy today. He is a 3 year old miracle child. I am so proud of him. We give Eric a lot and he is probably considered spoiled from the outside view. But to my husband and I he is the light of our lives, our world. He will be 4 in October and has been wanting to take Karate forever. So my husband and I decided to give it a try. He started Karate about a month ago and is doing awesome. He is learning fast and eager for more. Wednesday he goes for his first belt promotion. We are hoping he gets his yellow belt. I think he can do it but we shall see. We practice the schools creed almost every night and for a 3 year old he is doing amazing. He can say words that I would never imagine he could say. In the picture above, he had just gotten his Gi and was sooo excited to wear it. He even did different Karate poses for me to take his picture. He has gottent the red belt at class which is a great honor. You have to stand at attention and not move, laugh or anything for a certain amount of time. He has been working really hard to get that belt and it paid off.

Introduction

Hey! I am Jessi and this is my blog site. I have not yet decided what I am going to put on it yet. We shall see. Check out my husband's blog site....it is in my links.